Update

So, Lucky's death was mostly his territorial-ass fault and partly Rocky's fault. J e-mailed me and told me the details. Let me give you a bit of background...

Lucky hasn't always been territorial about his food. Sure, he was sometimes very territorial of me, if another dog came near, he got between me and the other dog, even if it wasn't a threat. And more often than not, he would get between me and Rocky. It felt good though, felt protected by my baby. He would also get territorial over dog treats such as bones, even if it had been Rocky's, if it was left alone, and Rocky went back to it, Lucky would jump in there and start a fight. One time they fought over a bone, Rocky got a hole pierced in his ear, right through, no tear, just a hole. It wouldn't stop bleeding for forever.

A few months back, before I moved out, so before Sept., he started to get mean about food. He'd finish his bowl off and head for Rocky's and scare him off from it and eat it all himself. If Rocky so much as went near Lucky another fight would break out. So Lucky was being chained up outside of the yard when it came time to eat and Rocky had free reign of the yard. This is where the story begins. Couple days ago, J had chained Lucky up, put both their bowls down and everything. Rocky was lose because he's trustworthy like that, Lucky's the runner, or was. J was showing Rocky to his food dish, hadn't even turned her back for that long...apparently Rocky went over to see Lucky (he is innocent, likes to lick on Lucky, wasn't after his food I'm sure) and Lucky got territorial. Now one dog being chained and the other not...Rocky also being part pitbull, whether that matters or not...unfair fight. J tried to break it up, got caught in the chain, finally got them apart, had to pull Rocky off Lucky...I'll just quote from here on out...:

"Lucky got beat up pretty bad. His ear was torn and he had several puncture wounds on his back. Rocky had no injuries. I thought I might have broken my finger, but it is just sore and a little bruised. There was blood all over the place and I can still picture them fighting and it was scary as hell. And what was more scary is that if I couldn't get them apart, I think Rocky would have killed him. He wouldn't let go. I was shaking and hyperventulating, and all by myself. I called G at work and told him what happened. He came home and took Lucky to the vet, and they thought it was best if he was put down. I think Rocky might be a little sad. He was so afraid of me when I went in the yard to check to see if he got hurt. I sprayed them both off with the hose to get all the mud and blood off to see if he was hurt, but nothing."

Now, as I've admitted, Rocky became the favorite after we adopted him, but Lucky was still the first. And I know it wasn't Rocky's fault because Lucky's the one who started it, but for fucks sake...I wasn't there. I would have done anything and everything and I'm not saying J didn't but I don't care what would have happened to me, he might still have died, or needed to be put down, but I would have been there. I just can't do it, I keep thinking he must have been so scared afterwards and fuck.

That stupid, stupid dog. This is harder than I thought, to write about this I mean. I already felt guilty, leaving them behind.