I miss my laptop. I miss being able to sit in my bed with it, miss being able to sit outside with it, and I miss being able to bring it in the car with me and use it as my not so convinient, temporary iPod.

I don't feel right. Sick of being in my own skin possibly. There are too many things I should have done, too many things I should have said, and more importantly too many things I should be.

I miss my girlfriend. Without her I don't feel complete and to me that's how it should feel with her as far away as she is. If you're with someone, I mean in the terms of "have a significant other" then they are what completes you. If you can function just fine without them, I applaud you.

I'm done with this town and from the looks of it, it's been done with me for a very long time. What am I supposed to do?

Written October 24, 2006

I'm outside Baby, watching you
Depending on your memory to get me through.

These cigarettes I smoke are no need of mine
I just feel a connection with you, they bring me closer every time.

The time we had was never our's but we took it and spent it well.
I wish I had you here to hold tight and kiss 'cause without you Baby, even heaven is hell.

this is a major TBC (to be continued) but feel free to comment anyway

"Did you know I miss you?"


You're not gone yet but I do miss you more than I've missed anyone before.
My first taste of something real, something I can grasp with my entire heart and soul and say, "this is mine, all mine, all for me".

I love you so much.

Written October 1, 2006

I just woke up
And I realized I'm alone
For the millionth night in a row.

I can't promise you forever
But if there's a way to end this pain and have you back
I'm all for it.

The rational side of me is getting in the way
Pushing and shoving until I have to see
Telling me I have to wonder if this was meant to last.

I don't want to cut and run
This love wasn't meant for only fun
I can't promise you forever but for you I'd like to try.

This world's been so unkind
And life's just staring me down
I don't think it's fair, but my odds never looked good.

...maybe continued as well, who knows.