Written October 8, 2005

I'm going crazy right now
Let me out of this skin
I feel like I'm dying inside but I don't know how to say it
All of my thoughts are moving too fast; they've blended
I can't stand the sound of my own trite voice
My problems seem to be eating me alive
I half-heartedly claw my way back up
But I'm so willing to fall back down
Back into familiarity and self-defeat
I don't want my miniscule burdens to control me
It feels as though there is no light bright enough to shine through this darkness in me
No breath of fresh air to revive my seeping soul
I'm sucking the life out of myself searching for a safe place to within
A place to hide
Maybe if I find the place that hurts
I can hold it and turn it into pleasure
Surely I could turn it around
I could own it and regain control
Shut it out and never let it back in
I could find a way to free myself