Okay, I feel like writing. Not necessarily a poem. I don't feel like I've been thinking hard enough lately, aside from analyzing myself. I feel like I've been censoring myself somewhat so that I don't offend instead of just speaking my mind. I mean it is my blog, but I'm worried about other people's feelings even though everything I say here isn't necessarily directed at someone, it's just stuff that's on my mind. I mean sure, the "puddle" post and the "why can't I just like that music cause I want to?" post stemmed from incidents, but the posts weren't me trying to attack or lash out at the person who contributed to those issues, it was me putting down what I had mulling around in my head. My thoughts on the situations, my feelings. On another note, it's far easier to say things here most times than say them to someone's face. I feel that I am better with written words than with spoken. That makes me feel selfish and cowardly, as though I have no right.
I had no ill intent when I wrote about those incidents. But I was so worried after the fact because I had offended someone. Sure, I felt apologies were in order, the last thing I wanted to do was offend/hurt anyone, but honestly, I wasn't in the wrong for posting what I did, with the exception of posting something that was said in a private e-mail.
This is my one actual voice and I'm not even using it to its fullest extent.
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7 comments:
Maybe you find it easier with the written word as opposed to talking directly to someone because with the written word, you have time to sit and think about what youre going to say Megan?
Youre blog is yours, and you write what you feel, its up to others wether they actually want to read it or not yeah?, its a bit akin to eavesdropping on a conversation ,you never hear good of yourself if you do that, so its said.
Write what you feel, thats why you started a blog in the first place isnt it? :-)
BTW...Love that new Av! ;-)
like Michael said, a journal is meant for you to put your most personal thoughts down. if you offend anyone, they can seriously cram it up their rear.
if they dont like what you have to say, they dont have to comment, or even read your journal anymore.
All right Havok, he never mentioned anyone in particular, he's allowed to say anything here, as are you I'm sure, but keep it fucking respectful! And seeing as it is on my blog, it is my business...I dunno fuck it. Sorry Mike.
Okay, how about I put it in forward aggressiveness, something you seem to be accustomed to. a journal is a place for people to vent about their problems. I dont care if whatever it is that megan said about you is justified or not, its HER Blog, not a place for you to look for times your mentioned. If you are brought about in a positive, or even negative way, its your buisness to bring that up with her in person and not share how you feel in her journal.
much like this is a commenting section, and I can comment about you anyway I like being as you seemed to take it upon yourself to tell me to "screw myself" because I told her to not be afraid to express herself.
if you were my friend, and you pissed me off in some way, I would and dont have any quams bringing you up in my journal entry. I, nor her, should have to pick and choose what they say.
This isnt myspace and im not going to continue this argument.
p.s.
"So until you've met me, and know who you're dealing with, keep your thoughts on me to yourself."
follow your own advice. because your coming off as an asshole. and its pretty goddamn apparent.
tell you what, ill even give you the liberty to talk about me however you like in your own journal, in the worst way possible. being as "I dont know what im dealing with", im sure itll be a great entry, award winning even.
If you didnt want to be talked about this way, then dont come off like your justified commenting about someones personal thoughts, and then attacking them like your owed an explanation for another persons emotions. your a human being, not a savant.
p.s. passive aggressiveness? its the internet asshat. you must mean "anonymously slamming a jackoff". but talk about it in your next journal entry, im sure ill keep up with it.
double p.s. sorry megan for all of this shit thats now on your blog. ill delete my comments im sure when im feeling better and im going to send you an email apologizing, i just will not take someone like that.
BTW Mike, that's a triple PS :P
Cody, you got a whole post in apologetic form and even you, yourself said that it wasn't necessary. I love you dearly but this is my blog, this is my place. You're right, I shouldn't be apologizing to Mike, you should be. He was sticking up for me, letting me know that no matter what, I should be able to say what I feel on my own blog. I'm sorry for all this shit but I'm great at creating and involving myself in turmoil apparently. Mike, thank you, was a bit excessive, but whatever. Cody, you're a dear friend, and you know what pisses me off, you know when I'm upset, and you know full well, telling you to your face doesn't usually solve much. I just have to take it with a grain of salt...if that's the proper expression. I'm sorry to both of you.
And Havok, he talked to you the way you talked to him, I'm not apologizing for that.
being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive way (as through procrastination, stubbornness, and unwillingness to communicate)
in no way did I act passively aggressive to you. I was just stating generically in blogs that a person can say what they want about whom they want. i wasnt havoc specific :)
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