An addition: It's not truth, it's fictional. I just felt this way.
Written November 1, 2005
The truth as I know it to be is that I'm the liar,
I manipulated the situation, every part.
At any time, if I'd wanted,
If I'd not been so afraid of the outside world,
I could have walked away.
The only reason I got out was because my world was falling apart.
Making everyone happy was all I had to do to make it all work out.
Stay away from me, it'd be the smart thing to do.
I did it, caused all the hurt in the end,
Just used you up and walked away,
I had to be the one to do the hurting before you had the chance to do it to me.
A product of my past, their decisions, and my decisions.
I can't even act like a decent human being,
It's even possible that this is all an act,
May always have been.
How much of this is truth?
I'm afraid of it all, afraid of what I did, what I can do, what I will do.
I make myself sick - stay away, I don't want to hurt you too.
What have I done?
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The title says it all.
3 comments:
Thanks.
Ok, weird that wasn't supposed to be anonymous.
Meg,
Let me just say that I am completely and utterly blown away by your poetry. Reading your posts is like gazing into a mirror to my soul. You say what I feel but have never had the guts or ability to articulate. I am in awe of your spirit and am grateful for having stumbled onto your blog. Thank you for enriching my life. You have revitalized me and shaken me out of my complacency and ennui. Your words have reached out through cyberspace and electrified me--I feel like I can fly, at least my spirit can--finally. If I could hug you over the internet, then I would and I would linger in the warm embrace out of sheer gratitude and fellowship. Thank you. Really.
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