So, what is in my head right now...my mom's words, "You're almost a quarter of a century old and what do you have to show? I had more to show at that age than you do now." Ok, I know she means well but come on! But she's right, all that I seemed to have achieved is no longer of significance *shrugs*. I'm on a really slow path to nowhere. *Sob* And two of my friends who are a few years younger than I am have dreams of a band, well they're definitely more than dreams, but the point is, there seems to be more hope for things when you're younger (depending on how your life treats you I suppose). And all I can do is sit here and wonder, "what made me this way?" I used to be a hard worker, not a genius or anything but smart enough. Now, now I feel stupid, like my brain has gone to waste. I know what I should do, but I just simply don't. A majority of me is scared shitless to do anything. I'm terrified of getting a job and what I'll have to do to get said job. I'm terrified to go back to school because I have no freaking clue who to talk to, or what I'll have to do. Gah! There has got to be some medical term for what's wrong with me. And what's with that? Now-a-days there's a freaking term for everything! and it's got me seeking something to blame the way I am. I'm not trying to be lazy, I hate the thought. I loved doing anything and everything I could, and now, I feel limited as to what that even means anymore.
I know what I want, but I won't go and get it because I'm scared, that's my life, summed right up for all to see.
And what am I going to do for my birthday? No significant other (as stated in a previous post) least not one who lives near me...not sure where that's going...anyway...no significant other, no job, no school...the bane of my families existence (did I even use that properly?).
*Sigh*, so, how is everyone?
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5 comments:
lol, not all comments can be helpful, input at all is welcome...and in response to your question...i dunno, I'm sure that's part of it.
we're talking about this right now on msn so..
all I can say is
close your eyes
imagine what you want.
very detailed. very specific. your desires.
imagine living it. imagine breathing it. imagine having it.
now imagine yourself not.
and the rest comes a lot easier than you think.
Mike, this comment is for you. I wanted to comment on your "One More" poem, but since I don't have a blog site I am considered anonymous. I wanted to tell you I loved the poem, and it was nice to see there are still guys out there that think that way, and aren't afraid of putting it out there. It kind of reminded me of a John Mayer song. And Megan, birthdays are a time of reflection, to look over your life and see what you like and don't like. Keep what you do, and get rid of what you don't. It will make next years birthdays better.
Sam, thank you very much :)
so you know, I changed my blog to allow anyone to comment. 'gulp'.
Mike, I feel exceptional that you would change your blog because of my comment. You are putting yourself out there, opening yourself for criticism, but that will make your writing better, and give you more to write about, such as imbeciles who criticize your writing.
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