The World Spins Madly On

Something real, hopefully not a rant or anything crazy, just me and my laptop and my thoughts.

The sky is pale...hint of pink in the clouds, not quite as cotton candy like as they were a few evenings ago, but pretty nonetheless.

Today was a good day though all I really did was work. It dragged on, I was tired, got something like 4 hours of sleep last night and only a bit more than that the night before but somehow I didn't once feel like I was going to fall asleep at work (thankfully). The hours did drag on and on though, but that's how the week's been for the most part. I'm exhausted and rightly so but I'm doing all right.

I want to write, I suppose my post last night was a bit of a poem...but not too sure, I suppose that's up to me ultimately. I remember a year ago feeling the same damn way, frustrated that I couldn't write and that everything seemed so repetitive, but we'll see, I wrote a few lines a few nights ago and maybe they'll turn into something when I devote time to them.

Work's slowed me down a whole lot, I suppose when you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week (occasional overtime as well) stuck somewhere it would slow everything down. The job's good and I'm good at it, heck, my supervisor is still trying to get me a raise already and it's only been a month today (you're not technically even up for the option of a raise until after 90 days, but there's still a chance for me I guess).

My car...my step-dad has actually been taking care of that for me for the most part. Jacked it up and looked at it to see if he knew what damage was done, something about a control arm being bent so one of my wheels was tilted slightly. He even called to speak to the guy we were going to go through for repairs to see if I'd brought it by, later went and talked to the guy after he gave his estimate and ideas on what needed to be done, basically just did what I needed someone to do for me - he stepped in and graciously helped. The last two days he's taken me to and picked me up from work, got up early and everything. Even took it in to get aligned and tires rotated today...now all I have to do is get the windshield replaced (wasn't damaged in the accident of course, those who know me know this already lol).

My mom did chew me out when she first found out about the accident, saying things like, "maybe you shouldn't be allowed to drive" and shit like that, tearing me to shreds and when I couldn't take it anymore, when I felt like a huge child I told asked her if she didn't think I wasn't already pissed off at myself that it even happened...then my cellphone lost the signal and I was afraid she'd think I hung up on her so of course I had to call back and make sure she understood I hadn't...her tone was sweeter, can always count on her to turn so quickly. In all fairness, the very first thing she said after I answered my phone was, "are you okay?" so I can't fault her right off at least. Didn't speak to her until a week later and she talked to me normal, better even, discussed what needed to be done for the car and insurance and all that fun stuff but it went really well...surprisingly.

Hoping to be getting new glasses soon. I only have glasses for reading but they've been the wrong prescription for years and I don't always wear them when I should...*shrugs*. Not sure what style I'm going for now. I kind of want plastic frames but who knows guess I'll have to see what I like and what I look good in? Suggestions?

I want bigger and better things for myself. I deserve bigger and better things...will I allow myself these things? Will I push myself to go after them? God, I hope so.

I'm happy, things could improve in a few areas, but I'm happy. Relieved.

I love you all, just so you know...well you guys all know who you are...if you're some random reader...well there's a good chance that if I knew you I could love you...but this isn't really meant towards you occasional random readers, sorry.